Before anything else, I don’t want people think that I’m against marriage. I respect marriage and understand how important it is in our society and how the institution of marriage has brought many benefits to humans.
Having to go through marriage and sadly choosing to end it wasn’t something I intended to do. Just to give you a quick background of my upbringing, I was raised Catholic. My family are all Catholics and all of them have a very straightforward view of what life is about.
You finish school, you get a boyfriend, you get engaged, get married, get a house, and you have kids and then you grow old and retire. That was the typical template they always say. You pray hard and everything will be given to you by God.
Family Background: My parents have a huge family. My Dad had 7 siblings. He was the 4th in the family and the eldest boy. My mother was the eldest with 6 siblings. All of my relatives have finished university and 80% of them married after getting comfortable with life and had kids after. I had a picture perfect family except my grandmother in my father’s side left my grand dad and moved to the US.
After seeing so many examples of a traditional family and seeing my own family drama, I thought surely, this isn’t the only way life is about. I was curious. There shouldn’t be just one template on how to live.
At an early age, I was fascinated reading books about history, religion, science and puzzles. This fascination made me think of unusual ideas my elders wouldn’t normally think outside of being Catholic. With this joy of reading, I was awoken with the thought that there’s no one religion, and not one way of living one’s life.
During my 20’s, I tried to do what a normal Catholic would. As the eldest in the family in my mother’s side, I was compelled to show people that I’m a good example to my younger peers. It was a huge responsibility in my part. Thinking why do I have to put up with all these?
Long story short, I got married in my late 20’s and had an absolutely big fat fabulous wedding. As the marriage progressed, I felt strange, thinking this isn’t what I wanted for myself. I realised quite late that I had to do other things for myself rather than pleasing other people.
I won’t go through the reasons of my annulment. I had years of solitude thinking about it since 2013 if I should go through it or not. I came to a conclusion that he wasn’t really a good match for me and I wish I chose better and seen the signs much earlier.
So let’s begin by digging deeper.